"She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue." (Proverbs 31:26 ESV)
The other day my son, a smart preteen,
was up to the challenge of washing the dishes. He didn't give me an attitude
when asked. He wasn't disrespectful. He didn't drag his feet. So why was I
battling the urge to harshly point out how he was doing it all wrong?
Because he wasn't doing it my way.
He started with the grimy pots, then
moved to the plates and silverware. Finally, he had to bubble up more water to
spit-shine the glasses. While working, he stacked plastic cups in a pyramid.
Irritation welled up. An unkind
reaction was itching to come out. I could easily have let my momma mouth take
over: It uses way more water to wash the dishes in that order. Plus
the water is filthy now! Stop playing with those cups while you work. You're so
slow.
I wanted to be a control freak. I
wanted to fire off the unkind words hidden in my unspoken thoughts: The
only way to do the dishes is my way. I see different as wrong. I interpret a
preteen being a preteen—with a slight distraction of fun—as "slow."
But when I unload on junior, or
anyone, it has the potential to damage our relationship and plant mental seeds
of his mom's view of him, whether verbalized or implied (lazy, wasteful,
distracted, and slow). It does not, as Proverbs 31:26 states, come close to
resembling a woman who "opens her mouth with wisdom and speaks
with kindness on her tongue."
It's better if these potentially
frustrating scenarios play out differently. So let's replay that scene with a
Spirit-controlled response.
As I see my son doing the dishes, I
can make a mental note to explain how to do it next time in a way that will
save water, money, and time. I can praise his efforts, keeping in mind his age
and abilities. I can acknowledge his unique method. I saw the clever
way you stacked those dishes. You always make work fun.
I can ask myself questions that will
help keep my mama mouth in check. Questions like: Does it matter now
or will it matter tomorrow? Will it affect eternity? Is God trying to teach me
something? Can I pause and praise instead of interrupt and instigate? Is this
really an issue that needs addressing? Am I being a control freak? Do I need to
let it go?
The interaction wouldn't damage; it
would nurture. It would be wise. Kind. And there would be no lost time,
regrets, or need to call in the United Nations peace-keeping forces for
intervention.
This mama would be less
control-freakish and more Proverbs 31-womanish. It might not come easily—trust
me, it usually doesn't—but with the Holy Spirit, it is possible
to speak with kindness.
Dear Lord, may I purpose to temper my
words with Your Holy Spirit as I interact with my family today. In Jesus' name,
Amen.
Related Resources
Can you think of a time you blew up at your child and wished you'd had a friend
to turn to for advice? Our brand new Encouragement for Today book is just
that—a trusted friend sharing God's peace, purpose and perspective with you in
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Today's devotion is a sample straight
out of Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Living by
the Proverbs 31 Ministries team. Click here to purchase your copy.
Remember
My mouth can be a powerful tool of encouragement or a weapon of destruction.
Reflect
Which of the questions posed in the devotion (Does it matter now or will it
matter tomorrow? etc.) do you most need to ask yourself when tempted to
over-control?
Respond
Think of an incident from the past where you did not use your words in a way
that was kind or loving. Revisit the situation. How could you have spoken in a
way that would honor God? Could you have used a different tone of voice? Word
choice? Timing?
Power Verses
Psalm 139:4; Psalm 37:30
Taken
from Encouragement for Today: Devotions for Everyday Living by
Renee Swope, Lysa TerKeurst, Samantha Evilsizer and the Proverbs 31 Ministries
Team. © 2013 by Proverbs 31 Ministries. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com.
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